"Seeking Mr Right (i.e. someone Right for my career), no Trumpers please"
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OMG, Is America in a Loveless Age? Good question! Everyone seems to ask that given there is so much to love in America. Well, I first got the idea to write this book, America's Loveless Age, when I read in the New York Daily News an article headlined Trump presidency is destroying marriages across the country (August 5, 2017). Then I read that eHarmony had posted on its website: “politics are on the minds of daters more than ever”. Then data in 2018 showed the marriage rate had plunged to a 118 year low. When politics interferes with love you sense the country is too painfully divided. As the author of Marriage War: Lipstick Breadwinners, Erotic Housewives (2013) with a vision to write about the world’s ultimate “Lipstick Breadwinner” - Hillary Clinton as the first female US President - I just had to look into why more than half of white women voters rejected her (like, were they representative of the housewives I had written about earlier in Marriage War?). Certainly I wasn’t alone in trying to understand why they would choose to vote for an odious poster-boy of the patriarchy and squander such an historic opportunity.
But as the Loveless Age became more apparent, I took a sideline that was different: how mainstream politics can impact mating politics. AND vice-versa given a new mating and gender dynamic with a unique political edge emerged from the chaos of the Trumpism age (this age covers 2016 to 2024 - Trumpism 1.0 up to the 2020 election and Trumpism 2.0 from 2021 after the attempted coup in which there was even more not to love as Trump's MAGA supporters went ballistic over perceived election fraud. However, after some exhaustive research, I discovered there was light at the end of a dark tunnel and love was quietly on the way back - albeit with a surprising twist out of Left Field with enough blowback to snuff out the light on a Trump (or clone) comeback in 2024.
But since my book was published in May 2022, there have been a series of regressive twists out of Right Field to further extend the Loveless Age. Firstly, the Supreme Court overturned the 1973 Roe v Wade abortion ruling, and for the first time in American history, rescinded a constitutional right by handing its fate back to the states. Boy, did that cause a rush for the restaurant exit on date night (my book had revealed the kind of draconian abortion laws some states had on their books - including no exemptions for date rape - just waiting for this opportunity). Sadly, the loveless are the children born of marginalized mothers since the states that force them to give birth are among the worst in terms of public spending that supports children. As exit polls have shown, since evangelicals ‘vote like hell’ for any anti-abortionist on the ballot despite their ungodly flaws (think Trump), there is more political mileage for lawmakers to be more concerned about life before birth than after it.
Yet ‘family values’ conservatism is ostensibly about protecting children from the evils of liberal values. Spare me. Take the case of a 10 year-old child who, in her time of greatest need after being raped, had to flee her state in order to have a safe and legal abortion. Ohio’s draconian new law - without any exemptions for rape - had ruled the child must give birth. Even Margaret Atwood, who wrote the chilling fictional story of a theocratic takeover of the US (The Handmaid’s Tale), didn’t entertain such a medieval scenario for it was pushing the horror boundaries too far to be plausible. Meanwhile, the loveless boundaries are stretched further given aborted marriages and hit and run fatherhood will be on the move again as men shirk their child-support responsibilities.
Now, to give you more of an idea the national impact of the ever-expanding loveless age, Texas is out of love with the rest of the country and pushing for a referendum in 2023 to secede from the Union. In this loveless age, is America becoming two versions of itself? Certainly the Supreme Court is trying its best to do so. Donald Trump proved that if you can stack the highest court in the land with ultra-conservatives from the Middle Ages, you can change society and bring back the so-called 'glorious past' that most women are happy to forget about. Or cringe reading about in history books. But obviously many others in other parts of the country, who seem content for humanity not to reach its full potential, are happy for the past to return.
But it's not just the US affected by the Supreme Court's recent regressive decisions. The court's blowback against the EPA vis-a-vis climate change by throttling the power of government to protect people against pollution, will ultimately impact the world at large despite the Sun never charging anyone a dime for its solar energy. In other words, given Trump's conservative Court appointees are seen to be in bed with fossil fuel corporates (as Trump was when president), the world has fallen out of love with America. And there’s no telling what rights or protections might next be on the chopping block given the current SCOTUS was found to be more conservative than 75 percent of Americans - and that study was done before the court overturned Roe v Wade that tore up 50 years of precedent. In other words, this nine-member politically unelected court in which a third was appointed by an authoritarian wannabe who lost the popular vote, to join another third still stuck in the Middle Ages, will unabashedly destroy the rights of the many to advance the interests of the few.
Indeed, gay rights, same-sex marriage, interstate travel to get an abortion, even contraception, are in jeopardy (remember the court upheld Trump’s call to allow employers to deny birth control coverage to employees on religious grounds). In the Catholic journal First Things, the political scientist Hadley Arkes called Roe’s overturning only a “first step”. Certainly Republican lawmakers have called for a federal nationwide ban. In fact, military-style guns that kill many Americans in mass shootings, including school children, have more rights than women. However, the right to an inter-racial marriage granted in 1965 is assured given one of the six conservative judges is an African-American married to a white woman. Moreover, the chances of getting caught out procuring an abortion is greater today than in the pre-Roe era courtesy of advanced technology vis-a-vis online Goggle searches. Given today’s surveillance state, a massive increase in dangerous DIY abortion is expected, not to mention intrusive investigations of miscarriages and doctors going to jail.
In effect, these laws are an expensive taxpayer foray in misogynist litigating in what is an assault on women’s reproductive rights in that the state effectively owns a woman’s body. Trump baited evangelicals when he spruiked “there has to be some form of punishment” for women who get abortions (though not for the men who coerce them to abort). The poorly educated were the most vulnerable when religion defines sex education. The reaction from outraged women to the recent ruling was swift and further extended the Loveless Age given the popular take-up of OkCupid's 'pro-choice' profile badge to help singles weed out people they will clash with over abortion rights (see next post). But the most loveless and shocking of all is the 315 mass shootings in the first half of 2022, and yet SCOTUS allowed guns to be carried in public in its repeal of a 100-year New York law banning the practice.
While more Loveless Age posts follows below, to get the background of how we got into this loveless mess in the first place - and how to get out of it - is to read:
America’s Loveless Age: Trumpism, FemPower, the End of Patriarchy: (Why Singleton is the New Normal)
Book Reviews
The following (condensed for space) 5-star reviews may entice you to buy the book. But far from blowing my horn here to make bank, it's the book's message that I want to get out there, and the more people read it the better. As one reviewer put it: “Noel Terry has written something here that cannot be ignored” while another wrote: "Regardless of which political party one belongs to, this work is important reading." The message is: ‘vote like hell’ for candidates who will protect democracy and individual rights; the book's Loveless Age revelations is a motivator to do just that. The low price of the ebook ($2.99) at less than a cup of coffee is indicative how important that message is to be spread far and wide, not only because democracy is fragile with voting and constitutional rights under threat, but also because of the extreme partisanship in Congress.
Indeed, as Washington Post’s Jonathan Capehart put it on PBS Newshour (July 22, 2022): “Washington has become so partisan that, if it's proposed by a Democratic president, the Republicans will automatically be against it [even] if it will save the planet, even if it will improve lives, they won't go for it [but with] two, three more seats in the Senate…...maybe we could see some movement on a whole lot of things, from climate, to codifying Roe, to protecting same-sex marriage, a whole host of things.” And a whole lot closer to the contemporary world. In other words, ‘vote like hell’ will override congressional obstructionism that kowtows to archaic “Middle Age” voters (not to be confused with middle-aged) who vote enmasse in states that hold disproportionate power vis-à-vis the Electoral College. And for the self-serving lawmaker, a viable route to personal political power (think party of me, not party of us vis-a-vis all Americans). The book reflects that it has gone beyond right and left, Republican and Democrat, right and wrong – it is about matters of morality and ethics that reverberates all the way back to the humble dating app.
Not surprisingly, reviews do help in the ‘vote like hell’ messaging, which is why I posted them here. This latest Supreme Court abortion ruling is just the beginning of a conservative assault on modernity's social progress, and a step closer to Handmaid’s Tale as the next post shows.
Book Reviews (or skip to Post 2 below)
KIRKUS Review: In this nonfiction book, a journalist investigates romantic strains in the Donald Trump era. With an academic background in sociology, the author builds on his 2013 book, Marriage War, about America’s declining marriage rates, and offers readers an in-depth glimpse into the nation’s “Loveless Age” where “singleton” has become a defining trait among late millennials and Generation Zers. This intriguing study looks at the role of economic change where traditionally male jobs are in decline and women are emerging as the family breadwinners in a postindustrial economy. A common link across all sections is how Trump tapped into latent misogyny and patriarchal resentment against feminism to build his base. Though at times repetitive, the volume is written in an engaging style that blends an accessible narrative with solid, interdisciplinary research. A thoughtful examination of a topic that affects the lives of millions of “loveless” Americans.
Reviewed by Joe Wisinski for Readers’ Favorite 5-star seal!
America’s Loveless Age is fascinating. It’s well-researched and thoroughly documented, yet it doesn’t sound like an academic tome. Noel Terry is a fine writer who knows how to mix facts, commentary, and even humor into a compelling read. Terry’s idea of examining today’s dating environment in light of the atmosphere created by the 45th president is unique and needed. Of course, not everyone will agree with Terry’s conclusions. In particular, fans of the former president will be aggrieved, because Terry pulls no punches in spelling out the damage the former president caused, is still doing, and may continue to do. Those who approach the book with a spirit of openness will learn and have their mindset challenged. I strongly recommend this book to anyone who wants interesting, enjoyable, and mind-expanding work.
Reviewed By Vincent Dublado for Readers’ Favorite 5-star seal!
This book’s main idea is very straightforward: when politics interferes with love, you sense the country is too painfully divided. Noel Terry has written something here that cannot be ignored; he has undoubtedly captured the effects that the Trump administration has left on human relationships. America’s Loveless Age is highly recommended for nonfiction readers who love strong and solid social and political commentary.
Reviewed By Gordon D. Durich for Readers’ Favorite 5-star seal!
America’s Loveless Age is worthy of inclusion in a university sociology syllabus required reading. As a sociology major, I would have appreciated this on mine. The author’s grasp of contemporary politics and gender dynamics is evident. I appreciated the way Noel Terry explained how Trump corrupted not only the societal fabric of this country but also personal relationships under the umbrella of love. Regardless of which political party one belongs to, this work is important reading and, in hindsight, a testament to the times.
Reviewed By Grant Leishman for Readers’ Favorite 5-star seal!
America’s Loveless Age: Trumpism, FemPower, the End of Patriarchy (Why Singleton is the New Normal) by Noel Terry is a fascinating look at the effects of Trumpism (thus far) on American society in general but more specifically through the eyes of those seeking love in this fractured environment. The author also considers what lies next for this divided nation in 2022 and 2024. I was blown away by this book and its differing slant and can highly recommend it to all”
Reviewed By Keith Mbuya for Readers’ Favorite 5-star seal!
Noel Terry’s America’s Loveless Age is a must-read for any political enthusiast. He delves deep into one of the toughest topics among the American people and summarizes his thoughts and ideas succinctly. His unique style of writing impressively conveys his educative and insightful discourse on the political situation in the United States. Noel Terry is undoubtedly a professional writer. America’s Loveless Age is a great piece of work”
Reviewed by Darya Silman for Reedsy Discovery 5-stars
Peppered with irony yet highly informative dissection of Donald Trump's 'glorious past' promises, America's Loveless Age: Trumpism, FemPower, the End of Patriarchy (Why Singleton Is the New Normal) illustrates the co-dependence of dating practices on the one hand and culture, politics, and economy on the other. After a ton of books written about Trump, Noel Terry shows the dating and marital practices of modern Americans deserve a separate book [as] one's political affiliations became important in the dating domain. For single men and women, the book can be a confirmation of what they are witnessing on dating sites. For those who want to understand the interconnectedness between economy and dating, America's Loveless Age offers plenty of sharp observations and unforeseen conclusions.
Amazon Customer Review: Brendon Simpson-Bell
Save democracy and your love-life 5-stars
At this time of fragile democracy with voting and constitutional rights under threat while radical candidates with QAnon and Trumpism links lurch towards autocracy, Noel Terry’s insightful America’s Loveless Age delivers this salient message: “vote like hell, otherwise you won’t have a democracy anymore.” The book reflects that it has gone beyond right and left, Republican and Democrat, right and wrong – this is about matters of morality and ethics that reverberates all the way back to the humble dating app. Not only does the author dissect Trumpism and the divisive cultural war politics currently raging writ large in America today, but also how it all impacts the romantic side of life. In that regard, this is a unique book.
If you ever wanted to know why more than half of white women voted twice for an “odious poster-boy of machismo”, Terry unravels the inconvenient truth. That Trump failed to save the patriarchy is underscored by a surprising twist at the end in which ‘odious poster-boy’ is neutered by ‘game-changer poster-girl’ (FemPower). The book flirts with the idea that as more women become primary breadwinners in a post-industrial economy more congenial to their skills, the more households vote Democrat. Not only does this promise to scorch Trumpism’s autocratic ambitions, but it also alleviates the loveless age. Terry shows this is achieved by a new mating politics emerging from the chaos of the Trump presidency.
I recommend this book, not only for its entertaining and well-researched detail, but also for its informed political outlook that should alarm ALL Americans. And it could just save your love life!
Reviewed By Jon Michael Miller for Readers’ Favorite 5-star seal!
Noel Terry’s America’s Loveless Age: Trumpism, Fempower, The End of Patriarchy (Why Singleton is the New Normal) is a fast-paced, scholarly, insightful, often witty and deeply ironic investigation of the nation’s current political, economic, and social atmosphere. Terry’s book is not your standard political/societal tract. Most impressive is his knowledge of scholastic and popular literature about women’s issues from dating trends, marriage, earning power, politics…..a hip yet informed vision of our current world— where it came from, where it is, and where it is going.
And "where it is going" is featured in the following posts leading up to the 2024 presidential election.
"Seeking Mr Right (i.e. someone Right for my career), no Trumpers please"
Post 2: “Get your rosaries off our ovaries” July 5, 2022
You could smell the casket flowers on women’s reproductive rights in the US when former president Trump appointed a third judge to the Supreme Court to be joined at the conservative hip with his other two hard-right appointees. Ultra-conservatives now dominated the bench 6-3 for a lifetime tenure. On the Fox network in 2020, Trump said that with his young new Catholic appointee, “it is certainly possible” that Roe v Wade could be overturned: “She is certainly conservative in her views, in her rulings….Maybe they’d give it back to the states.”
Red state after red state, encouraged by a president who pushed their priorities, then passed extreme “fetal heartbeat” laws just waiting for Roe’s overturn that would impose prison sentences for women – and their doctors - who abort. Certainly the Trumpism age turned out a ‘war on women’ age given draconian anti-abortion laws were passed entirely by men who, in some states, did not even allow exemptions for rape or incest. Bizarrely, the Texas governor who banned abortions after just six weeks had an answer for that: he would “eliminate rapists” from his state (funny that because he never did so when he was the state’s attorney-general for 12 years).
Some lawmakers believed the abortion laws were so extreme it would go beyond what even a conservative Supreme Court would support. I guess a 17th century theological debate is a hard sell. Take the sponsor of Alabama’s anti-abortion bill who literally dropped to his knees to get his draconian law passed: “I prayed my way through this bill” (as you do in the country’s most evangelical stronghold). A Missouri lawmaker virtually dropped into the medieval age when he argued that no exemption be given to “consensual rape” (his twisted take on date rape), meaning a woman could potentially go to prison on how much alcohol she consumed and what she was wearing. It gets even more twisted: the day after Alabama passed pro-life legislation, the state executed death-row inmate Michael Samra. Therein lays a morality dilemma: how to square supporting pro-life against supporting pro-death!
Despite knowledge of these draconian laws, the Supreme Court went ahead anyway and handed what the states wanted: essentially religious control over women's lives. Essentially the ruling has split the country into two America's, two neighborhoods (26 states have anti-abortion laws on their books). As I wrote in ALA, "a Texas abortion law empowers neighbors to sue neighbors for having an abortion (or anyone who aids and abets one). And is given a $10,000 bounty if the lawsuit is successful. As if the country wasn’t divided enough, this citizen vigilante order perversely encourages a Soviet-style system of spying on neighbors for monetary gain.” Or an estranged boyfriend getting his own back and gleefully collecting $10,000 while his ex-girlfriend goes to jail.
So, why has it taken 50 years for Roe to be overturned? Like, why now? We get a hint as to why from Illinois Republican, Mary Miller, who let the cat out of the bag when she told cheering rally-goers that overturning Roe was a “victory for white life”. In other words, a victory against vanishing whiteness since criminalizing abortion would mean more white babies potentially being born than babies born of the lesser populated (but fast-growing) minority groups. Hmm, was this meant to be an antidote to the “great replacement theory”, the racist conspiracy hogwash that alleges white people and their superior status are being “replaced” by people of color? But wouldn’t contraceptive access put a dint in that “theory”, you argue. It would except some state legislatures have introduced bills to restrict access to birth control, waiting for the go-ahead from a regressive Supreme Court (Justice Clarence Thomas has suggested the court should re-examine the right to contraception). It kind of shows that it’s not really about the ‘murder of a fetus’ as manipulating the (white) procreative process as a buffer against the browning of America. In the pre-Roe pre-Pill pre-liberation 1950s, the average woman gave birth to more than three children, more than double what it is today.
Well, if that is the thinking it may well backfire given this standard biological fact: if women are to become ‘baby factories’, they first must have physical intimacy with men. But…..ahem…....we are in the Loveless Age. As one user of OkCupid’s 'pro-choice' app that helps singles weed out people they will likely clash with over abortion rights put it: “I would never date someone who is not pro-choice. I want to be with someone who agrees that my body is my choice." The popular take-up of the app exemplifies the (loveless) fact that women are now wary of intimacy with men who back the party of forced childbirth. There is too much at stake for women. Over the decades, Roe v. Wade allowed women to finish their education and pursue careers, along the way increasing their earning power to become economically independent. As Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen told a Senate committee: “eliminating the right of women to make decisions about when and whether to have children would have very damaging effects on the economy and would set women back decades.”
Not surprisingly, Republican Senator, Steve Daines (R-Mt), said he disagreed with Yellen's perspective and offered his own economic analysis: “I look at low birth rates and an aging population” he said, arguing that there are negative economic impacts from abortion. Daines is obviously bleating about women being too career-minded to have a brood of children as in the old days. In other words, fretting about the spectre of vanishing whiteness. Many of his Republican colleagues blame feminism for low marriage rates, and hence low birth rates. Perhaps they should get out more and rummage around in matchmaker sites for they will find that Trumpism is the real villain in pouring cold water on the marriage market. “Seeking Mr Right, no Trumpers please” is pretty much the mating ethos in these hyper-polarized Trumpian times.
Certainly the 2020 Census showed the white population was aging and had fallen to its smallest share of the total population on record (57.8%). While the millennial generation had surpassed the Baby Boomers in number and diversity, figures showed the under-age-18 population as minority white (49.6%). That a nation of white Christians is becoming a land of multiracial pluralism is no better illustrated than in the title of the Brookings Institute podcast ‘White decline and increased diversity in America’s aging population’ (October 1, 2021).
But where does it say that a career-minded woman cannot have a brood of children? Look at Queen Victoria who had more than a brood. Admittedly she did have a husband who pitched in and she out-sourced other help. But guess what, that is still the answer 170 years later – a ‘daddy-tracking’ helpmate husband plus a little out-sourced help that adds to the economy. Anyone familiar with my book will have read that many ambitious women who are the winners in today’s post-industrial economy, are recognizing their smartest career move is to Marry Down to helpmate “daddy trackers” (offspring of feminist mothers and/or victims of post-industrial automation). As primary breadwinners, women are now calling the shots on how households vote, reversing the patriarchal trend that favored the party of the traditional family – the GOP (Democrats are predisposed to working women’s issues). Overall, it is in the GOP’s interest to have women pregnant in the kitchen and not in the office - and dutifully voting the same way as conservative husbands (what I have called the tandem-vote). In other words, back to the Mad Men era of being economically dependent on a man.
All this is in keeping with the Christian nationalist 'New Right' movement that ties abortion to the perceived social ills of the age – the sexual revolution, women’s liberation, etc. According to Katherine Stewart’s op-ed in The Guardian headlined How the Christian right took over the judiciary and changed America (June 25, 2022), “the Federalist Society [of] rightwing jurists…...has directed hundreds of millions of dollars [to] funnel ideologues to important judicial positions…...all six conservative justices on the supreme court are current or former members.” And? As Justice Sonia Sotomayor, one of only three liberal SCOTUS judges, wrote in her dissent: “This court continues to dismantle the wall of separation between church and state.” Gulp.
Christian historian John Fea, author of Believe Me: The Evangelical Road to Donald Trump, gave pause for thought: “Many of these extreme Christian nationalists......want to take dominion over government, culture, economic life, religion, the family, education”. Wince. One can only shudder how a theocratic ‘dominion’ could turn out (if you have ever watched The Handmaid’s Tale from behind the sofa, you will know what I mean).